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“Put a flavored condom on your head, because your mind is about to get blown!” Tamara exclaims, using what is quite possibly the worst line to come out of Awkward. in an effort to tell Jenna of her newfound popularity. Other news updates include Jake and Gabby’s newly public romance and Matty McKibben’s fall from popular grace thanks to his drunken meltdown.
Matty finds refuge with the unpopular kids at school, who become his guides to unpopular life. Their advice includes:
- Find food in the garbage
- Use an empty bucket in the janitor’s closet as a toilet
- Spiders can be your friends
- Always carry a change of clothes (I don’t want to know why)
If you feel that you’re not popular, please IGNORE ALL OF THIS. Matty attempts to apologize to Jake, who doesn’t care–people say the most truth when they’re drunk.
Jenna has a triple date with the Julies and some college dudes (or, you know, forty-year-olds). She is unimpressed by everyone’s constant need to update social media to prove they’re having a good time. After Jenna gets chastised for not hooking up with her assigned college dude, she takes her leave to go hang out with Tamara.
Matty tries to move on with his life, going to a concert with the unpopular crowd and actually having a good time. By the end of the episode, both Jenna and Matty are content and learning what kind of lives they want to lead.
Lissa’s mother, stressed out over her husband’s moving out with his boyfriend, has been taking her issues out on Lissa. Sadie suggests she needs a healthier sex life, which Lissa then attempts to discuss with her mother. “Intercourse is for procreation, not recreation,” her mother responds, chastising her daughter and inspiring Lissa to bring her mom to Ally’s sex toy party. Ally puts a vibrator in her purse and sends her into another room, after which she returns looking relaxed and glowing.
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This episode of Awkward. felt like more filler, lacking any sort of development plot-wise. It’s a little upsetting that it’s taken until the end of their senior year for Jenna and Matty to realize that high school popularity isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, but there you go. Also, how fickle the students at this school are! The B plot involving Lissa’s mother was eyeroll-inducing.
Episode Rating: 4/10
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Yearbook time! The Hipsters took charge of the yearbook, so the gang will be in for some surprises. After seeing the senior superlatives, Tamara let out a string of text-speak and tries to hide Jenna’s. Ms. Hamilton eventually receives the bad news: she’s been named MOST DEPRESSING. Tamara gently explains that this isn’t the craziest moniker: “You’re kind of always in a state of analysis paralysis in your face.”
Lacey argues that senior superlatives mean nothing, using the worst examples possible. For instance: Lacey was Most Likely to Not Go to College, Kevin was Most Likely to Become a Father Before Graduation, and Ally was Strongest Liver. Jenna laments the loss of Valerie. She finds Lissa in Val’s office, acting as the new guidance counselor. Lissa, better at the job than Val ever was, tells Jenna what we’ve all wanted to tell her for years: “People come to me with real problems, please don’t waste my time with your silly superstitions.” She advises her not to worry about the superlatives and listen to her friends instead.
It’s time for the Mother-Daughter Senior Banquet, in which the mothers get to openly mock and impersonate their daughters on stage! That sounds like a healthy thing to do! Ally shows up for Sadie, but Darlene takes over as a Sadie impersonator. Sadie wishes her luck, convinced that her mother’s time away means she has no idea as to who her daughter is. Ally assists Darlene with her impression.
Lacey shows off her fake cast to her daughter, reminding us all of Jenna’s humble first season beginnings as Suicide Girl. Jenna has zero sense of humor and flips out on her mother, throwing a bitchy impression of Lacey in her face. Lacey tells her daughter to learn how to take a joke.
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At the Banquet, Darlene positively nails her Sadie impression, punctuating it with a nice “You’re welcome.” Unfortunately, she takes all of the credit for the impression, pretending that Ally had no part in it. Lacey struggles through a lame Jenna portrayal, until Jenna hops on stage and starts making fun of herself. She goes through her identities, ending with “Take it or leave it, bitches!” After the banquet, Tamara tells Jenna her fiance gave her a real proposal and his grandmother’s engagement ring.
No episode of Awkward. would be complete without Jenna obsessing over Matty in some capacity. They exchange yearbooks, and Jenna is offended by Matty’s generic message: “You’re One Cool Chick.” When she confronts him, Matty says the words he didn’t write: “You’re my best friend. And an awesome hookup. And a great essay writer. You’re not the best camp counselor. You’re not very good at arts and crafts.” She’s overjoyed, inner monologue-ing that the best part of knowing who she is is that Matty does too. EYEROLL.
This episode of Awkward. served as a casual reminder that Jenna tends to go three steps backwards before moving one step forward. I’m curious to see developments in Sadie’s storyline and whether Tamara is going to end up pulling a Runaway Bride.
Episode Rating: 5/10.
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