“No Gun-Toting Terrorist Has Gotten the Best of a Ewing Yet!”
Staring down the barrel of a gun, John Ross lights the S.O.S. lighter and calls in his rescue team. With the capture of the cartel, the 52% of Ewing Global the cartel still had goes to the U.S. government, while the 48% they managed to sell before their assets were frozen landed in the hands of John Ross. Our conquering hero returns to his family: Sue Ellen calls him stupid, Bobby and Emma are both grateful, and Pamela leaves the room without talking to him. It could be worse, right?
I See Trouble in Paradise
Julie Cooper (whose name is apparently Tracy) arrives at South Fork, distraught over Hunter’s death. Ann is perturbed when she sees her share a hug with Bobby. “It’s really nice to meet Bobby’s latest wife,” Tracy says, digging herself and Bobby further into a hole. Over at the Rylands’, Harris declares his love for Ann, but she only has eyes for Bobby. Later, there’s a really heavy-handed metaphor about the foundation of a house to illustrate how Ann and Bobby are going to have to start over.
Secret Purse Compartments and Gunfire
Nicholas requests Elena’s company at dinner—he wants to explain! Nicholas, we all understand, unless you’re speaking specifically about your motivation behind tampering with her diaphragm. Elena unpacks a gun as she listens to news of the cartel’s arrest on the TV. She finds her phone and her brother’s missing St. Christopher medal in the secret pocket in her purse. Proof that Nicholas murdered Drew! She stares at that gun for a looooong time, her murderous fury building.
Nicholas arrives in the elevator and is greeted by three flying bullets. Christopher comes to Elena’s rescue, promising to take care of it. Christopher, what do you plan on doing with a presumed dead cartel bigwig masquerading as a businessman? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT.
Advertisement
Strangers With Candy, or Former Enemies Gifting Blackmail Material
Judith pulls up in a limo next to John Ross, offering a present and an invitation to join her in the car. John Ross accepts. She gives him the (entrapment) pictures and digital files of him and the call girls. “There are no strings! Just a favor and a request,” she promises. Those are strings, Pinocchio. As Emma won’t speak to anyone about the trauma she endured at the hands of the cartel, she asks that he be a friend to Emma. Side note, she also wants to know everything Harris was doing with the CIA.
John Ross and the Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad Day
John Ross’s parade gets rained on when he walks in on Nasir and Pamela in a very compromising position. “I’m making a preemptive deal,” she explains casually. John Ross isn’t quite as cool in his response: “Right back to the same whore my cousin married.” It seems these two won’t be reconciling anytime soon.
Advertisement
Bobby and Sue Ellen interrupt Pamela’s attempt at ripping the Ewing Global logo off the office’s wall. Using money lent to them by Carlos Del Sol (that dude is everywhere considering he’s never on screen), they were able to make a preemptive bid for the remaining 52% of the company, regaining controlling interest. John Ross is upset that his birthright has once again slipped through his fingers. “You’re starting another war,” she snaps at them, turning to John Ross. “At least they screwed you too.” John Ross storms off to the elevator. He breaks down listening to a saved voicemail from J.R. saying he’s proud of his son. Poor John Ross.
You Can’t Keep John Ross Down for Long
John Ross stops by Emma’s. “Did you come to Mexico to save me, John Ross? Or was there some other reason?” she asks. John Ross wishes he could be the hero, but he did it for business. Oh dear, I just don’t believe that. Emma offers him a folder; Harris was compiling blackmail against J.R. and John Ross that she intercepted. She was going to keep it as leverage, but no longer has the desire to play games. They thank each other and separate amicably.
John Ross isn’t one to sit around licking his wounds (for too long)—John Ross meets with Judith, offering her a tape recorder damning Harris in exchange for her partnership. John Ross returns to Ewing Global to introduce Bobby and Sue Ellen to the newest railroad commissioner (Bobby resigned to buy back the company shares), Judith. “Your daddy never got the best of me and he was twice the opponent,” Bobby says. Way harsh, Bobby. “I’m not just like my father—I’m worse,” John Ross declares.
Advertisement
The Big Finale
PART ONE: El Pozolero might be in jail, but his sons are still around! Uh oh, this seems like foreshadowing for next season. Well, El Pozolero and friends are in jail until Nicholas gives the kill order and all of them are murdered in their cells. Well.
PART TWO: Elena is vomiting! A LOT! Gross, TNT. Looks like her impending pregnancy has come to fruition, confirmed by the pregnancy test in her hand. Christopher opens the car door outside and IT BLOWS UP! This was a fairly obvious choice in character death considering his storyline was wrapped up like three episodes ago. Also, is he for real? I guess we’ll find out.*
PART THREE: John Ross is in a limo on the phone: “I want you to find her, Bum. I want you to find my sister.” The blackmail Harris found was proof of J.R.’s secret love child!
*Or we won’t. This is actually the SERIES finale of Dallas—TNT opted not to renew the series, much to my despair. I do appreciate that they pulled out all the drama stops on this one—a pregnancy! A secret love child! An EXPLOSION! I love that Dallas went out in a blaze of glory. Literally.
Advertisement