THE SITUATION:
The privy council is about to vote on who should be America’s Next Top Model, by which I mean the next King of England. This is my way of saying Tyra would have made the scene with the privy council a lot more interesting.
Actions Have Consequences: Jasper Frost Edition
Jasper finally returns to the castle. He’s on a mission to inform Liam of what Boone told him regarding Robert, but Liam is too preoccupied. Liam sarcastically welcomes him back and demands that he buries whatever he’s talking about because it’s privy council day. Next Eleanor confronts him about his absence, giving him hell for being so blase about returning when she’s been spending her time crying and blaming herself for their breakup. Jasper’s voice breaks as he apologizes and tries to stop her from leaving. Rosie pulls her gun on him, which he mirrors. Truly, the best scene this episode.
Mr. Hill is being questioned about a file leak that originated from his computer–also known as the file that Jasper stole for the reporter to protect Eleanor. Hill is now in danger of both being fired and getting arrested. He confronts Jasper about the file, who attempts to explain what happened. “Your inability to trust anyone or ask anyone for help has hurt a lot of people–including my daughter,” Hill says, losing patience with Jasper for the first time. Jasper says that he’ll confess to taking the file, but HIll will probably be fired regardless.
Things are getting desperate for Jasper, so he pops up in Helena’s private quarters to ask her for a favor. She informs him of how inappropriate this is, but he doesn’t even notice. He explains that he stole information and needs help protecting Mr. Hill. Helena points out that clearing Hill will get Jasper in trouble and tells him to figure out something else.
Jasper admits to the crime. He’s about to be arrested when Robert intervenes and explains that Jasper was working on his orders. After all, a story about the conspiracy to kill him would have given him points during this whole privy council ordeal. “He’s not a traitor, gentlemen. He’s a hero,” Robert declares. Afterwards, Jasper apologizes to Hill. Hill fires him, demanding that he leave his gun on the desk and be escorted out of the building. Jasper abandons his gun, requests that Hill tell Sarah Alice goodbye because he’s going to miss her, and insists that he can find his way out on his own. However, Jasper’s days at the palace might not be over after all–when he thanks Robert for his legal help, Robert has a proposition for him. Jasper could be re-hired, this time as Robert’s personal detail. The catch? He has to keep his “extracurriculars” in check, meaning he can no longer see Eleanor.
What Happens to Our Central Royals in the Meantime?
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Helena admits her part of helping Cyrus take the throne when Simon died, explaining that she thought it would help her keep control of the monarchy the way she knew it. Parker is understanding and suggests that they run away to Wyoming to give her a break. Helena explains Parker’s offer and her hesitation to Eleanor. Eleanor immediately convinces her to go, stating she can’t control the outcome of the privy council anyway. Ultimately, she decides against going away with Parker. “My life is here,” she tearfully explains to Eleanor.
Before the privy council session, Robert goes to Liam and instructs him to go negative on Cyrus. Liam would rather speak in a more positive manner to remind England of how great they can be. Robert basically tells Liam that he’s adorable and should let the grownups do the thinking, because he’s the worst. Cyrus goes to him next, appealing to him as a fellow second son. “People are at their best–or worst–when they have the opportunity to touch greatness,” Cyrus argues. Maybe Robert won’t be any better than Cyrus. I have to agree, Liam should really take the throne, let’s be real.
After the disastrous run-in with Jasper, Eleanor is upset. Enter Sebastian, who has a business proposition for her: he wants her to serve as an aesthetic designer for a series of hotels that he has just purchased. She hesitates, citing her princess duties, but he argues that she can do both–they’ll even donate a portion of the proceeds to the charitable organization of her choice. “Your fire is meant to be shared with the world,” he says.
The Council Vote
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This episode was presented as an alternating narrative between each characters’ running story and the privy council session, but for the sake of ease I’m streamlining it here. To begin, Cyrus lies through his teeth to the council, explaining how thrilled he was with Robert’s return. He reminds them that not too long ago, Helena supported his claim to the throne over Liam’s. To conclude, Cyrus points out that there’s no precedent for what they’re trying to do. “What are we, America? You saw what happened with Trump versus Hillary,” he says. Yikes.
Helena is up next, ready with the argument that Robert should already be king. Giving Cyrus the throne would mean that they’re letting Pryce win. Turning the crown over to the proper Henstridge man sends a message directly to hell and making several wrongs right again.
When Liam is called, he doesn’t say much, instead deferring to the privy council to make the decision. Robert is visibly furious. Eleanor picks up the task and goes negative on Cyrus real hard, describing him as “a malicious freakshow dressed as a court jester on nitrous oxide.” The Princess has quite a way with words. When it’s Robert’s turn, I find I can’t even listen to his inspirational prattling, though it does end with, “Together our majesty is infinite–God save the king!” Yeah, yeah.
After the council meeting, Robert yells at Liam for his silence. Liam calmly insists that what he did helped to protect their family’s image, proving that Simon’s true heir. “Crowns are for the taking, and I’m taking this one–unless you’ve ruined it for all of us,” Robert bitches. Eyeroll, I truly can’t stand him, and each week I wonder how we could be rid of him. I don’t think I’m in luck on that front–Big Ben’s bells toll, signaling that Robert is now the King of England.
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A Few Royal Reactions
Angie is thrilled that Robert has been chosen, while Katherine cries. I can’t tell if those are happy tears or sad ones, but truly, who cares? Robert immediately goes to visit Katherine to celebrate. She tells him that she loves him, and they decide to stay in to have sex rather than celebrate in public. Cyrus collapses into his chair, disappointment washing over him. He storms over to the man he blackmailed at the charity auction and demands to know why he didn’t sway the whole council. He closes the episode by staring at a pistol.
Jasper tries to explain the entire situation to Eleanor, but she cuts him off to say that she’s leaving on Sebastian’s hotel tour. He manages to say that it was all to protect her, but that doesn’t matter anymore; she has the chance to be someone and she’s going to take it while she can. She leaves him standing in the room. Jasper goes to Liam next to inform him that he’ll no longer be Liam’s security detail. Liam is all “Sure, maybe,” then asks Jasper to tell him what the urgent news was about Boone. Jasper insists it’s the kind of thing that you can’t un-hear–however, we’ll have to wait until next week to find out what it is.
This week’s episode of The Royals was a wild ride, though not one with a twist ending. The Jasper storyline was executed so well; Tom Austen, Alexandra Park, and Rocky Marshall all play off each other perfectly, while the writers aren’t afraid to explore the nuances in this situation. Rather than commend Jasper for his shady, heroic actions, Hill chastises him, citing his inability to trust other people as a source of hurt for everyone. As always, I continue to not be a fan of Robert and Katherine, though they’re giving Liam the opportunity to shine.
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