4×12, “Shark.”
Construction happening right outside the group’s loft puts a damper on the celebration of Winston officially becoming a part of the LAPD. Understandably, Nick and Coach are worried about Winston’s ability to protect himself (he gets headaches from paper cuts); those fears only intensify when Winston is assigned a petite training officer named Ally (Nasim Pedrad). Though she is less-than-amused by the boys’ antics at first, Ally softens by the end of the episode, taking Nick and Coach to a support group for families of officers.
In the meantime, Jess and Schmidt butt heads when discussing what should be done about the noise from the construction work outside. While Jess would like to speak with their district’s councilwoman Fawn Moscato (Zoe Lister-Jones), Schmidt insists he take her out to dinner and smother her in compliments, both impressing her with his important political connections and charming her into solving their woes. This unfortunately flounders, but Schmidt is surprisingly deeply attracted to Fawn’s harshness (and not bothered by her prejudiced comments like, “Tone down the ‘Jewish thing’”). He buckles under his desire, agreeing to argue pro-noise at the council meeting.
Cece and Jess, knowing that Schmidt is being played, get inside Schmidt’s head and tell him that his suit sleeves are uneven mere seconds before he’s about to take the podium. Hyper-aware and self-conscious of looking foolish, Schmidt is unable to articulate an argument, forcing Fawn to recommend construction be moved to days. Still reeling, Schmidt begs for forgiveness, citing the girls as the reason for his blunder: “Please forgive me. I was duped by a doe-eyed pixie and her Indian hench-woman.” He agrees to be nothing more than her arm candy.
Rating: 6/10
4×13, “Coming Out.”
Coach’s jealousy sparks a motivation that helps Ryan and Jess’s relationship. Nearly every school faculty member ogles Ryan, leaving Coach receiving hardly any female attention. And in Coach’s world, that simply won’t do. He digs into the paperwork behind the no-dating policy and (hurrah!) finds out that Jess and Ryan no longer have to date in secret. Thrilled by the news, Jess takes the paperwork to Principal Alan Foster who, not able to be bothered with reading it all, allows her to be public with Ryan. Her only worry? Favoritism. When she must decide on the best of some pretty awful options for school field trips, Jess withdraws her vote for Ryan’s pick (a trip to the space museum to talk to a Russian astronaut about the Mars rover) in a bid to save face.
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The morning of the field trip, Coach is on a mission to show a softer side and impress the school nurse. He’s in a full Ryan get-up, tie and glasses and all. However, it’s less suave and more “murderous” and “creepy” in her eyes. Way to knock Coach down a peg. The trip itself is actually quite creepy as well, considering the fact that Jess soon realizes the leaf raking and trench digging the students are doing is child labor and that they’re at the biology teacher’s farm. Said teacher panics as he’s found out and knocks down a wasps nest, the cherry on top of a certifiably horrible field trip.
Things aren’t looking so sunny for Schmidt either, as he’s forgotten to take his ulcer medication and is required to take a day off work. Knowing he will try to go anyway, Nick and Kai team up to “babysit” him, which turns out to be a string of hilarious moments in which Schmidt attempts to still get work done. (One in particular involves Schmidt in a bathrobe clacking at the keys of an almost ancient Apple processor.)
In Winston’s neck of the woods, he’s taken to wearing a large crystal around his neck, given to him by his fellow officers. Though he insists it’s not part of a hazing ritual but rather to increase his luck with ladies, the boys don’t buy it. Winston tells Coach of its additional power; it can aid you in overcoming your fears.
The episode ends at the bar with Ryan and Jess saying “I love you” for the very first time, and with Coach conquering his biggest fear: country-line dancing.
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Rating: 7.5/10
4×14, “Swuit.”
Schnick (a portmanteau of Nick and Schmidt, that is) Industries have concocted a revolutionary new product: a sweatsuit-suit hybrid called the “swuit.” They’ll pitch this idea to QVC queen Lori Greiner (as herself) in just four days. Anxious to get their presentation perfect, tensions flare up between Nick and Schmidt, causing Jess to intervene. She believes they are each struggling with “man problems” and gently suggests that they allow the other to take creative control. After a flurry of exaggerated compliments and a questionable product that results from a brainstorm session, the boys realize their miscommunication and get their heads on straight for their meeting with Lori. She rejects their idea, as QVC already as a scrub/suit called the “scrut,” but gives the boys ten grand to destroy their prototype. Nick’s girlfriend Kai is none too impressed with his new ambition and how busy he is working with Schmidt, as she’d much rather do nothing with him.
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Meanwhile, Winston and Coach decide to invest in Cece’s education, loaning her money to cover her tuition under the stipulation that she pay them back in three years with 10% interest. To their horror, however, they learn that her course schedule includes courses like Post-War British Art History and Afrikaans. Disappointed, Coach states that her classes mean “Screw You, Investors,” but eventually comes to his senses and apologizes to her later at the bar.
Rating: 8/10
4×15, “The Crawl.”
Kai’s dissatisfaction with Nick turns sour, as she ends their relationship. Nick goes into hiding, emerging from his room a dirty mess. He expresses a desire to go on a bar crawl that is completely unrelated to his breakup with Kai. While he was M.I.A., Jess spent a week with Ryan’s family, developing a fake accent and a smug attitude. The two are “Jyan” now, and have made dinner reservations for Valentine’s Day. Nick interjects and declares that the Valentine’s Day bar crawl is a go and that all members of the group must attend.
During the bar crawl, Cece attempts to drink Nick under the table, Coach struggles in getting the attention of an attractive girl named May (Meaghan Rath), and Ryan and Jess get fake-drunk so they can still make their dinner reservation. After spending so much time together, and on arguably the most romantic night of the year, “Jyan” is faced with the reality of a new job offer that came Ryan’s way. His dream job, in fact, as headmaster at Wellington Prep in England. Being the optimist that she is, Jess tells Ryan to accept and that they will make long-distance work.
Rating: 8/10
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