4×04, “Micro.”
In an effort to convince Nick, Schmidt and Winston that she’s not as shallow as she may let on, that she wouldn’t discredit a guy’s romantic potential based on how he looks, Jess takes a shot at gorgeous-but-dim Matt. At the offset, things seem to be going peachy, until he reveals that he is less-than-fortunate in his endowment. This, of course, sends the boys into a fit of laughter as they devise a bet: Jess can’t last one month dating the Man with the Micro-Penis, and if she can, Nick will donate $500 to her charity of choice. Jess insists that his “ailment” doesn’t factor into her lack of connection with him; instead, it’s his awful personality, denseness, and – surprise! – his infidelity to his girlfriend.
Meanwhile, Cece and Winston are cooking up their own dubious plan: persuading Coach and Schmidt into believing that they’ve got what it takes to become successful male models. They eventually discover it was all a ruse, but to Schmidt’s delight, he ends up on a billboard in Korea as the handsome face of “Jewish-Korean relations.”
Rating: 8/10
4×05, “Landline.”
When Jess is on an important phone call with her superior, Principal Alan Foster, the connection crackles and cuts off. This is a light-bulb moment for Jess: the gang should install a landline for the apartment. Everyone’s personal lives become entangled thanks to the new addition, and the situation is hardly alleviated when Nick becomes honorary secretary of the landline and begins taking messages. He learns that Winston is involved with a woman named Judy, Schmidt is contemplating fitting the back of his car with a spoiler, and Coach is in a sexual relationship with the school nurse and Rose, another school employee. This causes Vice Principal Jess to enforce a strict policy banning any school faculty from dating one another. Unfortunately for her, an attractive new teacher, Ryan Geauxinue (Julian Morris), joins the school staff the very same day. Can you spell “trouble”?
Rating: 10/10
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4×06, “Background Check.”
From my list of best New Girl episodes: The gangs apartment is subject to a thorough search by Winston’s superior, Lieutenant Tess Durado, and (not surprisingly) tensions proceed to run high. Jess is left convinced she’s in the possession of a generous amount of crystal meth (hidden in the second-hand ottoman she keeps in her bedroom), Nick is on the verge of unconsciousness as he’s forced to lie and Coach roams the streets of Los Angeles looking for a boy named “Duquan.”
Rating: 10/10
4×07, “Goldmine.”
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After the Nick/Jess split we saw in Season 3, things have been going quite differently for the pair. Nick’s living with his ex works exceedingly well in his strictly-casual, one-night escapades with women, but for Jess, it proves to be a real obstacle. She’s dating kind, sweet, and in-the-dark about her living situation Ian (Michael Stahl-David) and pleads for the boys to be less gross and more normal as when she invites him over to (hopefully) break the news. In true Nick fashion, he thinks up a ridiculous plan to become “Gay Nick,” in hopes of alleviating any awkward tension that might have arose when meeting Jess’s new guy. (Because really, what could go wrong?!)
On the flip side of the gang, Schmidt learns that Cece is contemplating a breast reduction – which sends him on a comical rollercoaster through the five stages of grief – and Winston is caught up in his “long game” with the building’s newest tenants, Viv (Amber Stevens) and Michelle (Alexandra Daddario).
Rating: 7/10
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