So how did they turn Battleship the Game into a movie? Well, it starts off with a pretty funny sequence to show off how much of a screw-up Alex Hopper (Taylor Kitsch) is. His brother, Stone (Alexander Skarsgård), is a Naval commander and forces Alex to join the Navy, so he can straighten out. Then follows another sequence in which we discover that despite being in the Navy, Alex still has some discipline issues. It takes a long time for this movie to get started. It had way too much set-up, especially for a story that is as simple as this. We get that Alex is cocky, arrogant and uncontrollable; we didn’t need several different scenes explaining this to us. (Yet, we got them anyway.) Liam Neeson plays Admiral Shane; he’s the head honcho around there and probably the only guy who can really intimidate Alex. Unfortunately for him, Alex is in love with Shane’s daughter, Sam (Brooklyn Decker). After messing up royally, he goes on one last Navy exercise with a fleet of ships which ends up turning into a battle against aliens who are threating to take over the world.
The one and only thing that Battleship has going for it is its cheesiness. I did not expect it to be funny, and while I did laugh at the moments that were supposed to be comedic, there were several unintentionally funny scenes as well. The dialogue is so bad, but the corniness still managed to entertain me. The acting that went along with the dialogue was laughable as well. Not to say that they’re bad actors, but with material like that, it’s difficult to show off any real talent. (And for the record, I truly think Rihanna’s talents only lie in the music industry.)
I’m not the best judge of visual effects, but the effects in Battleship were good, probably not the best though. (After seeing Avengers, it’s hard to top large-scale CGI like that.) I was hoping that maybe we’d get some pretty cool aliens. We didn’t. The aliens and how they worked were lame and just made the plot more eye-roll worthy. The only thrilling part of the movie was when it started to be like the actual game it’s based off, and from that point on, the story picks up and finally starts moving.
Battleship isn’t a good movie, but it isn’t the worst movie ever. If you love Transformers, I would suggest seeking it out, but I still wouldn’t go out of my way. In fact, I would really suggest just waiting to rent this movie or not seeing it at all. Yes, I did find it sort of entertaining, but I did see it for free. I would probably be much harsher if I doled out $10 to see this forgettable flick.
Battleship hits theaters this Friday, May 18th in the US.
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