TV Review: The Big Bang Theory 8×17, “The Colonization Application”

One thing the Big Bang likes to do is capitalize on Sheldon Cooper’s milestones. His first time holding a girl’s hand, his first girlfriend, his first kiss, and this week, it was time for another first; A first so important that it requires for some of that hand holding to break the news to Penny and Leonard. Sheldon and Amy are finally going to start a family…with a pet turtle!

A turtle is the ideal pet. It doesn’t shed fur, it doesn’t make noise, for Halloween they can dress it up as a cobblestone, and most importantly, if it ever goes berserk, Sheldon can outrun him. At the pet store, Sheldon becomes fond of the idle turtle in the corner. He was sure he was going to be named Seth, but the little guy looks Italian, and so Giuseppe will be his name. Amy explains to the turtle that he would be staying with Sheldon most of the time, and she’ll take him while Sheldon is away at Comic Con or at work. Like Giuseppe’s speed, his parent’s relationship growth is slow, so he’ll need to split the time with the two. Sheldon then reveals that if his application to be among the first to colonize Mars gets accepted, his living arrangement with Amy would be permanent. As expected, Amy is livid. How could he not tell her of his plan to move to another planet?! In his defense, her fuming reaction is exactly why he chose not to share this information with her.

Back at the apartment, Leonard reveals to Penny that he never gave her a present that was meant for Valentine’s Day because he was too embarrassed seeing as he bought it at the dirty store. This so-called dirty toy is actually a blank canvas. The premise behind it is that they cover themselves in paint before doing the dance with no pants on the blank canvas. As far as dirty toys go, this one is a little less dirty, and a little more creative. However, after the deed is done, the “art” on the canvas looks like they weren’t even there, with just a two small blotches covering the cloth. Obviously they can do better. I mean they’re not boring people. They watch Netflix like the youngsters do, so they decide to try again, and really cover the canvas with something that is representative of their relationship. The result is a display beautiful, lively colors. It’s so lovely that they even contemplate on keeping it, but decide that they better not because of the butt marks. A slight nod to Star Trek, they decide on giving the artwork to Sheldon, saying that William Shatner is the artist.

Speaking of, Sheldon and Amy are back from the pet store, and he is appalled that they almost brought a “wild” animal into the apartment. Turns out Giuseppe is not a fan of the children’s game “got your nose.” Amy uses this unfortunate incident to further prove her point that Sheldon won’t be able to survive an interplanetary mission if he can’t even survive a teeny tiny turtle bite. A second nod to Star Trek comes when, in an effort to cheer Amy up, Sheldon plays the iconic theme song on his nose. Not even that will bring a smile on her face.

In order to explain to Amy why he wants to go to Mars, he shows her a short video he made for the application. We learn nothing new. Sheldon’s a genius with impeccable hygiene and a quirky sense of humor. If that doesn’t get him in, surely the pie to Leonard’s face will. Still, Amy is upset because it seems as if Sheldon is planning a future without her. He then proposes a future together, but one that may not be in this planet, but on a barren, lifeless planet, where the chances of survival are slim. Amy is thrilled! Of course, she would love! Together, they dream of the day when their offspring will be considered Martians.

While Penny and Leonard were creating “art” and Sheldon and Amy were planning life on another planet, the other show’s foursome was dealing with very real, earthly problems. Bernadette is doing the taxes, while Howard attempts to help Raj out of a sticky situation. He and Emily were having a date night at her place when she had to run a quick errand back at the hospital. While she’s away, Raj starts snooping, and ends up breaking one of the drawers. When Emily gets back, he comes clean, and the couple has their first fight. It’s nothing too exciting, but Emily does get her payback by telling Raj to never look inside her closet, making him believe she is hiding those dead bodies she’s always joking about.

Finally, at the end of the show, they paid tribute to the dearly departed, Leonard Nimoy. Most notably, his impact on the show was seen in the famous game that Sheldon created, “Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, Spock,” but his impact could be seen elsewhere, everywhere on the show. He will always be remembered.

Live long and proser, Mr. Spock.

Best Bazingas!

“While my brother was getting an STD, I was getting a PhD. Penicillin can’t take this away. ”—Sheldon

 “If I’m going to a barren, lifeless environment, where the chances of survival are slim to none, I want you there with me.”—Sheldon

“You know, we could also be the first people to procreate on Mars.”—Amy

“You just can’t keep it in your space pants, can you?”—Sheldon

“Think about it. If we had a family there, our kids would be Martians.”—Amy

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