TV Recap: Awkward. 3×13—“Taking Sides”

Previouslies! That kinda weird dude asked Sadie out at that party. Details, I have them. Hopefully they give a bit of a refresher on that. Matty claimed he wasn’t embarrassed of Jenna, but he was. And of course, Jenna cheated on Matty with Colin. Like we could forget such a hideous blunder.

Time jump! The writers chose to skip Jenna’s grieving period to go straight into her fresh start, which means skinny jeans, new accessories, and her new “grown up” room. Just so we know, changing décor does not mean that you’re mature as a human. Jenna’s shown ample proof of the opposite, actually (shaaaaade).  Somewhere in the midst of Tamara and Ming explaining their discomfort with Colin, T delivers the line, “I punch the guy one time and you Chris Brown-ify me,” once again solidifying her as the golden child of this show.

Matty shows up unannounced for a conversation with Jenna. They express their mutual non-hatred, but the goals of the conversation divert from there. Jenna wants to forget everything, while Matty wants to get back together. Jenna refuses, citing her desire to “start new life chapters” so they can eventually be friends. Whoever is giving her the self-help books, STOP. The verbiage is making her sound ridiculous.

Sadie reacts incredulously to Matty’s decision to talk to Jenna, reminding him of all the phone content editing she did for his sake. She’d rather Matty date Devon, the girl he’s occasionally been texting. The dude from that party in the previouslies shows up and still wants to date her. Sadie helpfully reminds me of who he is—Austin, “some bitch’s Boo Radley brother” she met at the Halloween Party. To Kill a Mockingbird reference? Sadie is the BEST. When Sadie denies wanting to date him, Lissa decides she wants to.

Just when Jenna thinks no one is taking sides, she finds her mother having a heart to heart with Matty, during which she expressly took his side. Jenna throws a bit of a bitchfit, declaring that Ma Lacey can no longer hang out with Matty, and if she’s going to take sides, it has to be hers. While I understand that a child would expect their parent to be on their side, I found Jenna’s refusal to let them hang out really selfish, considering how close Matty is with her family in comparison to his own.

And then we cut to Jenna making out with Colin in her foyer. Are the writers actively trying to make us dislike her? Because it’s working.

Jenna’s solution to the friend/Colin problem was to have a barbeque. Ma Lacey and Val are drinking wine together at this shindig, exploring Val’s attraction to jailbait dudes that, as a school guidance counselor, she would be surrounded by all the time. After Colin tells them that he wants them to stay (how nice, considering it’s Ma Lacey’s house in the first place…), they agree that he’s no Matty and toast to our boy McKibben. I love the loyalty they show Matty.

Sadie and Matty are hanging out and you guys, IT IS THE BEST. Their friendship is comfortable and believable—when Matty expresses his appreciation for Anne Hathway, Sadie responds, “I know it’s common knowledge, but you have terrible taste in women.” Matty teases her about obviously liking Austin, despite her initial denial. They play the whose-life-sucks-more game, which Sadie wins when she recaps her drama from the past three seasons and tops it off with her Dad selling her beloved horse, Priscilla Queen of the Desert. I want Sadie to come sit next to me, so we can trash talk the peasants and have a few drinks. Matty is the one to finally nudge her into her interest with Austin, claiming that he’ll make the move if she doesn’t, because Austin is “one sexy dude.” This entire scene? FLAWLESS.

Tamara’s bitching about her lack of desire to attend Jenna’s barbeque, citing her punching Colin in the face and having to keep their affair a secret as reasons. Jake flips out, furious that she didn’t tell him because he could have warned Matty. This situation is really messy, because by that logic she was being loyal to her own best friend, so I don’t know if I can fully get on board with Jake here. Especially since Tamara did everything she could to get Jenna to tell Matty. Jake basically tells T he doesn’t want to hear from her anymore and storms out.

Back to the worst barbeque ever. Fred Wu tells Jenna that none of her friends are coming. Colin is being all supportive and ridiculously understanding of Jenna’s friends, which I find out of character—for someone who shamelessly pursued Jenna while she had a boyfriend, it seems odd that he would be so unbelievably selfless for her friends at this point. Oh Colin. I don’t even despise you anymore, I just find you boring.

Rather than listen to Colin, Jenna sends rage-filled texts calling Ming and T immature, self-involved (HA! Hello pot, this is kettle, you’re black), and telling them they can’t be happy when she’s happy (point proven, ladies and gentlemen). Jenna is just about the worst kind of brat there is right now, and I wish she would get off of her own show, because she’s wretched. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Sadie. For. Protagonist. After bitching out Tamara for “dating her sloppy seconds” (RUDE) and calling Ming a follower (pretty untrue), Jenna brands them disloyal backstabbers. T and Ming calmly tell her that they weren’t taking sides before but they are now—and it won’t be hers. GOOD. She’s being terrible. The episode closes with Jenna dramatically defriending all of her former friends on the Awkward. equivalent of Facebook. Oh, J. Don’t you know that you’re eventually going to have to re-friend them? That’s going to be uncomfortable.

Next on Awkward.: Jenna (almost?) gets arrested while wearing a beanie. Tamara is disgusted with her. Me too, T. Me. Too.