Conan the Barbarian, a remake of the 1982 Arnold Schwarzenegger film, will be out in theaters this weekend. It’s a remake hardly anyone wanted. After the initial teaser was shown for this movie, I definitely knew that this movie wasn’t going to be good. I saw the movie last night, and well, it wasn’t good.
Conan the Barbarian is about a warrior, played by Jason Momoa, who seeks revenge for his father’s death. Conan is after is Khalar Zym (Stephen Lang), a man who seeks to retain the power of a god. In order for Zym to get that power, he must capture a “pure-blood,” who happens to be a woman (Rachel Nichols) that Conan crosses paths with it. Conan uses her to get to Zym in order to kill him and his evil witch daughter, played by Rose McGowan.
This movie is insanely violent. I expected the graphic violence, but how much head bashing does this movie need? The violence was gratuitous and unbelievable. The action scenes are typical. There were few cool moments, especially one of the last fighting scenes between Conan and Zym, when they were balancing on a circular piece of wood that was hanging above a river of lava.
One of the only things this movie has going for it is Jason Momoa. He was good choice to cast as Conan and a pretty decent actor. As a fan of Game of Thrones, I first knew of him as the character Khal Drogo. Drogo doesn’t speak a lot, and with Conan, the dialogue is terrible, but I think Momoa made the best out of it. He delivered the humorous lines well, and seemed to be aware of his slight ridiculousness. Unlike Stephen Lang, who seemed to have taken his role a bit too seriously, the audience couldn’t help but laugh at him sometimes. Rose McGowan was creepy and weird, which is different from what people are expecting from her. I think she played her role well regardless. Nichols’ character was stupid. She played Conan’s love interest/damsel-in-distress. We’ve all seen it before and Nichols doesn’t really add anything interesting to the bland character.
Some surprises were Ron Perlman, playing Conan’s father in the beginning. I like Ron Perlman, so it was nice to see him in the film. In addition, Morgan Freeman does the narration for the story. I was sort of surprised by this and had to whisper to my friends “Wait… is that Morgan Freeman?!” for confirmation.
As for the story, it’s pretty simple and there’s nothing complex about it. I found it to be boring. If the movie wasn’t so loud, I might have fallen asleep. Also, I saw the movie in 3D and did the thing where I left the glasses up and down to check if there is any difference on the screen. Many of the scenes weren’t in 3D and the ones that were in 3D are not that impressive. Honestly, the coolest part in 3D was the Lionsgate’s sign in the beginning. Besides the fact that I don’t recommend this movie at all, if you still want to go see it, it’s not worth the 3D prices.
Conan the Barbarian comes out in theaters Friday, August 19th. Check out the trailer below.
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