The 42 best things about ‘She’s The Man’

The late ’90s/early 2000s movie scene was chock full of Shakespeare retellings. Considering the success of movies like 10 Things I Hate About You (The Taming of the Shrew), Get Over It (A Midsummer Night’s Dream) and William Shakespeare’s Romeo + Juliet (Romeo and Juliet), it’s a wonder they ever stopped. Frankly, I’m still waiting for them to make a teen movie adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing, but that’s another point for a different time. Today we’re talking about one that came a little bit later in the game than the ones previously mentioned. On this 10 year anniversary of what might be the most important Amanda Bynes movie ever, we take a look at the 42 best things about She’s the Man.

1. To start, She’s the Man is a retelling of Shakespeare’s Twelfth Night, a comedy full of cross-dressing, wacky misunderstandings and latent sexual confusion. Shakespeare retellings make the best teen movies. See also: 10 Things I Hate About You.
2. Viola’s sexist boyfriend and Duke’s rival Justin is played by Robert Hoffman, who goes on to be the male lead in Step Up 2 (the superior Step Up movie, come fight me).
3. Viola doesn’t waste anytime when he laughs at her for trying to join the boys’ soccer team when hers is cut and dumps him as soon as he reveals himself to be scum.
4. Their high school is named Illyria, which Shakespeare nerds would know is named after the setting of Twelfth Night.
5. Viola’s brother Sebastian’s plan upon being booted from his and Viola’s original high school Cornwall (another Shakespeare nod) is to run away to London to play with his band, tricking his parents into thinking that he’s living with the other the whole time. That doesn’t seem full of holes at all!
6. MAKEOVER MONTAGE! Instead of the cliche making a “geeky” girl into a popular one (i.e., straightening her hair and getting contacts), we get a montage where Viola’s friend Paul turns her into a guy and Viola tries to emulate the walk of every dude she sees on the street.
7. Viola’s accent literally any time she’s acting as Sebastian.
8. This gem of encouragement from Paul before Viola-as-Sebastian starts at Illyria: “Remember, inside every girl is a boy. That came out wrong. You know what I mean.”
9. Duke Orsino, Viola’s awkward-yet-hot roommate/teammate, is portrayed by pre-Magic Mike Channing Tatum.
10. The only drawback of the film is that Duke and Justin don’t ever have an angry dance-off. Considering their skills, this is a waste of precious talent.
11. The first time Viola says, “You know it, brah.”
12. When the boys discover her tampons, Viola-as-Sebastian shoves them up her nose as a means for stopping nosebleeds.
13. Illyria’s Coach Dinklage is played by Vinnie Jones, famous English soccer player and the most memorable part of Eurotrip, in which a group of angry Manchester United fans sing “My Baby Takes the Morning Train.”
14. The nosy, overenthusiastic Principal Horatio Gold is protrayed by David Cross, famous for his role as Tobias Funke on Arrested Development.
15. Malcolm’s opening line to Olivia in the cafeteria: “You know bologna is 38 percent hoof?” Thanks for the loss of appetite, buddy.
16. The elaborate plan Paul cooks up to give Viola dude cred, in which her friends Kia and Yvonne pretend to be obsessed with Viola-as-Sebastian.
17. Monique’s infamous line when Duke’s friend Andrew says hi to her: “Girls with asses like mine do not talk to boys with faces like yours.”
18. Viola-as-Sebastian pronouncing “ugly” as “oooglaaaay” when dumping Monique in the pizza parlor for her brother.
19. Everyone hearing Viola-as-Sebastian’s “Barbie Girl” ringtone in science class.
20. The amount of celebratory dancing shown in the movie.
21. The too-long pause Viola-as-Sebastian takes before freaking out that she got hit in the crotch with a soccer ball during practice.
22. The terrifying fact that Malcolm has a pillow with a giant Olivia face on it. Maybe she should get a restraining order?
23. Malcolm’s spider shares a name with the main antagonist in Twelfth Night, Malvoilio.
24. When Viola has to keep switching between herself and Sebastian at the carnival, she changes in the moon bounce.
25. When Justin says, “No one breaks up over a stupid soccer issue, OK? Could you just be a girl for five seconds?” Viola responds “It’s not just a stupid soccer issue, and you’re a jerk! Oh, look at that!” In five seconds and slaps him.
26. Duke shoving a tampon up his nose after his fight with Justin.
27. The montage of Duke training Viola-as-Sebastian is set to OAR’s “Love and Memories,” because it’s so random but also so right?
28. How often the movie drives home the point that you shouldn’t objectify people and that everyone is a real person with feelings.
29. When Eunice says “I’m so there it’s insane” to the prospect of a double date with Duke, Olivia and Viola-as-Sebastian.
30. The moment when Duke asks, “So…do you like cheese?” to Eunice and she responds, “More than almost any other animal byproduct.”
31. Viola aggressively eating chicken legs in Olivia’s direction at the debutante luncheon out of jealousy.
32. The running bit where everyone constantly corrects Monique when she says that she’s Sebastian’s girlfriend.
33. The all-out slap fight that erupts in the girl’s bathroom when Monique attacks Olivia for going after Sebastian.
34. Principal Gold overhearing the following conversation Viola-as-Sebastian has with her mother and defending it to Malcolm: “Mom, I will pick out my own dress. And no I will not wear heels! Because, heels are a male invention designed to make a woman’s butt look smaller. And for them to make it harder to run away.”
35. The real Sebastian not thinking it’s AT ALL weird that everyone already knows him and is harrassing him to get on the soccer field with him having never attended a class or practice at the school to his knowledge.
36. The soccer game is backed by the All American Rejects’ “Dirty Little Secret,” the perfect song for any early 2000s film.
37. How similar Sebastian and Viola are to one another — i.e., how they each expose themselves to the crowd in order to prove their genders, inspiring their father to say, “Is it just me, or does this soccer game have more nudity than most?”
38. Duke delivers the most famous Twelfth Night line as part of an inspirational speech at the soccer game: “Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. Some have greatness thrust upon them.”
39. Coach Dinklage DGAF about Viola’s gender, as long as she can play soccer.
40. As an apology, Viola sends Duke a giant wheel of gouda. If that’s not deserving of forgiveness, I don’t know what is.
41. Viola is presented at the debutante ball in a seafoam green gown, which I’m fairly certain is against cotillion protocol. Shouting “WOO!” upon making your debut is DEFINITELY against protocol, but it was pretty stellar.
42. The movie closes with the dulcet tones of the All-American Rejects singing “Move Along,” another perfect choice for a 2000s teen comedy.