The 51 Best Things about ‘Coyote Ugly’

Bri Lockhart

9 years ago

It’s been fifteen years since our lives were graced with the presence of Coyote Ugly. Fifteen years later, it holds up well. Ignore all of the cassette tapes, the fact that Violet and Kevin use pay phones to communicate with each other, and the idea that LeAnn Rimes is a popular artist, and you’re looking at a tale that stands the test of time. To celebrate this anniversary, I now present to you the 51 best things about Coyote Ugly.

When Violet’s best friend Gloria says that she and Mr. Sanford should get dinner after Violet leaves for New York, Mr. Sanford says that he’s locking the doors.
After dropping Violet off in her New York apartment, Gloria cries because never going through with anything was “what makes [them] so special,” and now Violet is actually doing something.
Violet has to compose her songs on the roof because of her angry New York neighbors, giving us some great shots of Piper Perabo rocking out on the roof.
This quote from the angry receptionist: “Now lemme tell you about me. My name is Wendy and I first moved to New York when I was twenty-one to be a dancer, but I broke my big toe and then I got knocked up by this actor who dumped me to join the Peace Corps, so for the last sixteen years I have been raising my daughter by myself and then two weeks ago, she tells me that she is a bisexual and that she hates me more than any person on this planet. Now, tell me how I can help you, please. Because I am DYING to make your dreams come true.”
The Calling is performing “Wherever You Will Go” at one of the clubs Violet visits.
Violet unplugging the phone at the William Morris Agency and saying, “I just want to leave this for Whitney, or Mariah–I’m sure they’re close personal friends of yours.”
The Coyotes’ favorite after-work activity is placing bets on the favorite movies of Playboy models.
MISS TYRA BANKS as Zoe, the Coyote who quits working at Coyote Ugly to pursue her law school dreams, leaving the opening for Violet. The only drawback is that Tyra isn’t in more of this movie, tbh.
Zoe declares “I’ve Got the Power,” a JAM, and starts dancing with a bottle of ketchup in the diner.
THE SOUNDTRACK. With “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” “Pour Some Sugar on Me,” and the movie’s original tracks belted by LeAnn Rimes, this soundtrack is a guaranteed pick-me-up.
This quote from Zoe on her last night as a coyote: “IS THIS A CHURCH MEETING OR A BAR? MAKE SOME NOISE!”
Rachel lighting the bar on fire to the dulcet tones of Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me.”
Lil’s effortless ability to turn Violet’s t-shirt into a crop top without scissors.
Lil’s stance against the patriarchy: “Yeah, the court ordered [Rachel] to take anger management classes after she pummeled a customer for grabbing her ass. He pressed charges, I gave her a raise. Cheers!”
The two rules for working at Coyote Ugly: don’t date the customers and don’t bring boyfriends into the bar.
Violet’s introduction to the Coyote Ugly customer base: “Hey everybody, SHUT UP! I’d like you to meet my new girl, whose name is…JERSEY. Jersey is an ex-kindergarten teacher, and a former nun, who just escaped from the convent, and is tired of being the only virgin in New York City. Would anyone like to buy her a drink?”
Lil’s response to when a customer is questioning what they serve at the bar: “Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black, and Jose, all my favorite men. You can have it anyway you like it, as long as it comes in a shot glass.”
The “HELL NO H2O” chant.
When Lil dismisses Violet after she refuses to do the line dance on the bar: “Here’s some cash! You did okay for a nun!”
Violet doesn’t know the line dance for “The Devil Went Down to Georgia,” but a bunch of the lady locals do! It seems slightly too involved for everyone to just figure it out as they go along…
How the girls deal with customers buying them too many shots: chase it with a beer, allowing them to spit it into a bottle.
In order to pay the fire marshal’s fine, Violet surprises Kevin and auctions him off to the highest bidder. The decision to dance and strip was totally his.
The angry blonde girl bidding on Kevin that screams “DAMN YOU!” after she loses the auction is none other than Kaitlin Olson of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fame.
The shopping montage in which Cammie gets Violet a new wardrobe and we are reminded of how god-awful early 2000s fashion was.
Lil’s response when a customer asks what Coyote Ugly means: “Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand and the person you’re next to is laying on your arm, and they’re so ugly, you’d rather chew off your own arm than risk waking them? That’s Coyote Ugly.” Even better, after she’s asked why she would name her bar after something like that: “Oh, because Cheers was taken!”
Kevin’s genius tactic of putting a boot on his own car so that he can park wherever he wants and not get screwed.
Kevin’s seemingly shady deals are all about comic book trading.
The idea that only the soothing tones of Violet singing Blondie’s “One Way or Another” with the jukebox calm the fleet week riot.
After celebrating the Blondie win, Violet wakes up Kevin for a goodnight kiss, then returns alone to her own apartment to work on “Right Kind of Wrong” with the assistance of her neighbor’s hip hop beat.
Kevin brings in like, forty cardboard standing figures so Violet can practice singing in front of people without actually singing in front of real humans. He clearly cares about this a lot, because those cardboard standees are like $30-$40 each. Then again, his apartment seems pretty spacious for New York, so maybe he has more money than we know.
The idea that Lil must lose a decent amount of money every time she hires a new bartender, since Violet uses full bottles to practice spinning and smashes three or four in the montage we see.
Zoe being unable to resist the allure of Kid Rock’s “Cowboy” when she comes to visit, meaning she gets up on the bar and slings water with the rest of them even though she is a paying customer.
Mr. Sanford having the worst timing ever, visiting the bar on Kid Rock night and seeing Violet dancing on the bar. The real concern is that he’s not upset that she has so little rhythm, but that she’s there in the first place. PRIORITIES, SIR.
Kevin paid for Violet’s Elbow Room spot with The Amazing Spider Man #109. KEVIN! You said that was worth $1000! DUDE.
Mr. Sanford’s refusal to let Violet move back home after his accident, as he can’t let his daughter give up on her dreams the way he let his wife.
John Goodman’s comedic choices when Mr. Sanford has to use crutches.
When Lil visits Violet at her new job and orders a double water on the rocks.
Lil admitting to Violet that she is the one who’s from Piedmont, North Dakota.
The sign that goes up on the bar that says they’re closing early for Jersey’s debut.
When Lil calls Kevin: “Do yourself a favor and look at page 137 of the Voice,” letting him know about Violet’s performance. More importantly, Violet’s name is alongside 90s/early 00s greats like Eve 6 and Edwin McCain.
The sheer amount of fringe, leather, and leopard print that appears in this movie. No joke. Cammie’s first costume involvs velour purple leopard print pants with beaded fringe. Look at the words I just wrote. That is so disgusting.
The ONE-TWO-THREEs that Violet gets from her father’s co-workers on the way to the Bowery Ballroom, which definitely would have caused panic amongst drivers.
Violet’s ridiculous U-turns at the border of NJ/NY that would have gotten them killed six ways.
Mr. Sanford revealing that he bought Violet’s autograph from Pete for $20 so he could have his daughter’s first autograph.
When the Coyotes all answer “no” when the hostess at the Bowery Ballroom asks if she can help them.
Kevin cuts the power to the venue, but the instruments still work and the lights go on as scheduled for Violet’s performance.
Rachel punches the guy catcalling Violet during her performance of “Can’t Fight the Moonlight.”
LeAnn Rimes shows up at Coyote Ugly for the “Can’t Fight the Moonlight” launch party, wearing the WORST outfit of the movie (it involves a beaded fringed halter top and snakeskin lowrise pants).
Violet auctions her father off and it’s weird!
That woman’s guttural “NINETY-FIVE!” while bidding on Mr. Sanford.
Mr. Sanford yelling, “I’M A COYOTE! and howling on top of the bar with Lil.