[tps_title]The Virginal Anastasia Steele[/tps_title]
Gaby: Let’s talk about Ana then. She’s who we follow on this kind of sexual exploration.
Jon: I haven’t read the books, so I didn’t realize she was supposed to be a virgin.
Melissa: I think everything Ana did, she wanted to do… obviously.
Jon: I’m not sure I agree with jumping right into BDSM after not having any sexual experience prior to. I mean, how are you even supposed to know what you want to explore?
Gaby: I felt uncomfortable that she was a virgin and had admitted to having no sexual experience. Christian didn’t hesitate all that much to change that.
Allyson: It doesn’t seem that way from the book quotes. She’s impressionable, shy, and manipulated.
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Melissa: Well, in the movie, she was all too willing to give it up.
Gaby: At first, she wanted to “make love.”
Melissa: And they did.
Jon: Was Grey a virgin when that older women became his Dom when he was 15?
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Gaby: Yes.
Jon: Well, judging by the cigarette burns on his chest and how he didn’t seem too fond of the experience, isn’t he basically perpetuating the same cycle of abuse on another impressionable virgin?
Melissa: It was consensual between him and Mrs. Robinson.
Allyson: He was 15. Consensual isn’t even an applicable word when someone is underage.
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Gaby: That’s true. And honestly, I’m glad that Ana recognized his relationship with Mrs. Robinson instantly as child abuse.
Melissa: Well, he seeks out people who want to do it too, so I don’t really see how that’s abusive.
Allyson: He seeks out a certain type of person who will agree to do it. Someone who is shy in life doesn’t mean they’ll be submissive.
Gaby: But Ana wasn’t down for a lot of that stuff at first. I know he tried respecting that with their contract negotiations, but you can tell she was trying to push herself to be open to it.
Jon: I have to say that I really enjoyed the entire negotiation scene. It was pretty close to how discussing boundaries and limits actually go in these types of relationships/encounters.
Gaby: I did enjoy the contract scene too. I felt like it was the only scene with some visual/directing flair.
Melissa: I don’t think he’s after “shy” people. He didn’t even know that she was a virgin at first. Gaby, that was her choice. He didn’t force it upon her.
Gaby: Well, he gave her an unspoken ultimatum. He can’t be with her unless there’s a contract. Sure, eventually, he begins to let it go, but it’s not exactly a healthy start to a relationship.
Allyson: It just seems like that contract is where the respect ends. Like there’s so much more to the BDSM culture than the submissive being a living, breathing sex toy.
Jon: At one point, doesn’t he just basically take her, even though they both acknowledged she never signed the contract? So she kind of went into it without protection.
Melissa: And again…she made that choice.
Jon: So to speak.
Allyson: I think the big thing is abuse isn’t always obvious. He was emotionally manipulative. And he stalks her, right? LOL. He seems like a charmer.
Jon: That’s true, Allyson. The dynamic he is looking for fits less of the dom/sub one and more of a master/slave one, which is a more extreme version of the former.
Allyson: It just seems like it’s all the set up for a BDSM relationship with none of the payoff.
Gaby: Someone made a point that if Christian were poor and/or unattractive; his behavior would be considered creepy without question.
Allyson: That’s very true, Gaby. It’s all about perceptions.
Gaby: In the movie though, we don’t get as much insight into Ana’s thoughts. We could argue that Ana might have not felt emotionally manipulated at all. I mean, she is a grown woman, if naive, should we respect her decision to move forward with the relationship?
Melissa: Um…. Yes. LOL.
Allyson: But isn’t that part of the problem? That we don’t get insight to her thoughts?
Melissa: No, girl. Her inner goddess is annoying as fuck.
Jon: Manipulation is so insidious and pervasive that usually the person getting manipulated doesn’t know they are being manipulated. Especially sexually, since she has had no point of reference up to that point.
Gaby: We don’t get insight into Christian’s mind either. They aren’t very forthcoming with each other.
Allyson: I guess the problem is not that we don’t know if she’s comfortable with it, but that we’re supposed to accept what’s happening as if it’s not problematic.
Melissa: He had told her what he was into before they did anything. She could have walked away.
Allyson: Again, the thing about manipulation is that it’s hard to detect. So it’s not so easy that she could have walked away.
Gaby: We do see some changes in Christian as he begins to do “more” things for Ana than he ever did with past submissives. “More” = romantic.
Jon: I don’t like how they both enter a relationship with the unspoken intent to change the other person. You never start a relationship with that idea.
Melissa: Well, in the film, I don’t feel like she was manipulated.
Gaby: Technically, in the book or movie, Ana never feels manipulated by Christian. That is perceived by the audience who place themselves in Ana’s shoes and reacts to the story. Ana isn’t very fleshed out as a character. It sort of explains why there are such visceral reactions on both sides of the spectrum.
Melissa: Yup.
Allyson: I don’t think the author was bright enough to write the book with any nuance and ended up writing an abusive “love story.”
Melissa: But you perceive it as abusive.
Allyson: No, I think it’s definitely abusive.
Melissa: But you haven’t seen the film?
Allyson: No, but I’ve read passages from the book, and I’m active in a society that’s against stories that glamorize abuse.
Jon: I just look at the story with my own experience with the BDSM community, more as a third person observer than actually being part of it.
Gaby: The thing is in the real world, I can see this being abusive. As a fairy tale, it can be that they both have good intentions.
Click [NEXT] to read our thoughts on Christian Grey.
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