Early tomorrow morning, the nominations for the 2014 Primetime Emmy Awards will be announced, and they will be flawed. Good shows and artists will go ignored, while mediocre or even terrible ones will be getting recognition. The Television Academy is just as susceptible to silly bias as any other body that gives out awards for artistic merit, so this is to be expected. This is why I see little value in grousing about the snubs and undeserved nominations. Instead, I present to you an early, alternative ballot for this past season’s Emmys.
I stuck to the Academy criteria that the content to be nominated comes from stuff aired between June 1st, 2013 and May 31st, 2014. I focused only on the major awards — series, acting, writing, and directing — because there are a headache-inducing lot of them, and who really cares who I think should be nominated for sound design? I have not seen enough of the miniseries or television movies to comment on them, so I stuck to the comedy and drama categories. If you’re interested in who’s up for what categories, the Television Academy website has the complete ballots available for your perusal. They were a help for me in compiling these noms, though I did not always go by who and what was submitted to which category (as you will see). I will not claim that my ballot is perfect, mainly since I have not watched all the acclaimed television there is out there. So if you spot an egregious snub, assume it is not because I have bad taste but because I have not seen the show in question.
UPDATE: Well, the official noms have been announced, so I’ve bolded where my choices overlap with those of the Academy. I’ve also added an asterisk (*) to people who got a nom, but in a different category than where I put them. In the case of writing and directing nominations, I’ve included asterisks if the same show was nominated, even if it was for a different episode than what I chose.
DRAMA
Series
The Americans
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Breaking Bad
Fargo *
Mad Men
Masters of Sex
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True Detective
Fargo was submitted as a miniseries, but I ignored that because I do not truck with the idea that a show that is getting a second season counts as a “miniseries,” anthology though it may be. Anyway, Breaking Bad and Mad Men are old stalwarts, The Americans had an incredible leap in quality from its first to its second season, and the rest are just staggeringly strong debuts.
Actor
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Bryan Cranston, Breaking Bad
Jon Hamm, Mad Men
Woody Harrelson, True Detective
Matthew McConaughey, True Detective
Matthew Rhys, The Americans
Billy Bob Thornton, Fargo *
It is very rare that more than one performance is submitted as a lead for any series, but Harrelson and McConaughey did so for True Detective, and with good reason.
Actress
Lizzy Caplan, Masters of Sex
Anna Gunn, Breaking Bad *
Tatiana Maslany, Orphan Black
Elisabeth Moss, Mad Men
Keri Russell, The Americans
Allison Tolman, Fargo *
Maslany going ignored by the Academy was probably last year’s most egregious snub. Gunn and Tolman are submitted in the “supporting category,” but nuts to that. Tolman is probably the best surprise TV gave us this year, an actress who came out of nowhere and gave us such a wonderful character. Also, Russell beating the tar out of people is disturbingly thrilling to me.
Supporting Actor
Dean Norris, Breaking Bad
Noah Emmerich, The Americans
Colin Hanks, Fargo *
Martin Freeman, Fargo *
Vincent Kartheiser, Mad Men
Aaron Paul, Breaking Bad
This is the season where Norris actually surpassed Paul as Breaking Bad’s supreme supporting performance, though that’s more because Paul had less to do than that he in any way slipped. Anyway, they’re great, Emmerich is great, Kartheiser is as wonderfully slimy as ever, and I really hope you watched Fargo. This, not Sherlock, is where Freeman is doing interesting things as an actor.
Supporting Actress
Betsy Brandt, Breaking Bad
Caitlin Fitzgerald, Masters of Sex
Annet Mahendru, The Americans
Kiernan Shipka, Mad Men
Alison Wright, The Americans
Maisie Williams, Game of Thrones
Brandt spent four-and-a-half seasons in a solid but never-quite-remarkable role before exploding last year. It was amazing. Shipka and Williams will never in a million years be nominated, because the Academy seems to disdain child actors right now, but they are wonderful. And in a show full of performances that smash the heart, Fitzgerald came second to none.
Writing
Joshua Brand, The Americans, “Arpanet”
Noah Hawley, Fargo, “Buridan’s Ass” *
Sam Shaw, Masters of Sex, “Fallout”
Moira Walley-Beckett, Breaking Bad, “Ozymandias”
Nic Pizzolato, True Detective, “The Secret Fate of All Life”
Carly Wray & Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Waterloo”
AKA “the one where a description of the Internet is actually poetic, “the one where Martin Freeman is horrifying,” “the one where there’s an air raid drill and Allison Janney meditates on gravity,” “the one where everything goes utterly to shit,” “the one where McConaughey says the title line and you get chills,” and “the one where the Moon landing happens and the ghost of Bert Cooper sings.”
Directing
Rian Johnson, Breaking Bad, “Ozymandias” *
Cary Fukunaga, True Detective, “Who Goes There”
Colin Bucksey, Fargo, “Buridan’s Ass” *
Neil Marshall, Game of Thrones, “The Watchers on the Wall”
Vincenzo Natali, Hannibal, “Su-zakana”
Matthew Weiner, Mad Men, “Waterloo”
Lots of movie directors muscling into television work show up here. What can I say? They do good stuff.
COMEDY
Series
Bob’s Burgers
Broad City
Girls
Key & Peele
Orange is the New Black
Veep
Bob’s Burgers is trapped in the animation cage and Key & Peele is submitted as a variety show, but in Dan-land, everything is perfect and people get the recognition they deserve. I also think this reflects how beautifully women have taken over great American television comedy.
Actor
Louis C.K., Louie
Andy Daly, Review
Jonathan Groff, Looking
Jim Jeffries, Legit
Keegan-Michael Key, Key & Peele
Jordan Peele, Key & Peele
Key and Peele are submitted as supporting actors. This does not make sense. Also, Jeffries might come out of left field, but have you seen that show? He’s great in it. Oh wait, you probably didn’t see it. Which is why it was canceled. *sniff*
Actress
Lena Dunham, Girls
Ilana Glazer, Broad City
Abbi Jacobson, Broad City
Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Veep
Amy Poehler, Parks and Recreation
Amy Schumer, Inside Amy Schumer
I honestly believe Glazer and Jacobson are as strong a comedic duo as McConaughey and Harrelson are a dramatic one. Also, Amy Schumer submitted herself in the “supporting” category, apparently as a joke. Props.
Supporting Actor
Hannibal Buress, Broad City
Tony Hale, Veep
Joe Lo Truglio, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Timothy Simons, Veep
Terry Crews, Brooklyn Nine-Nine
Christopher Evan Welch, Silicon Valley
It is such a shame that Welch died just as he’d sunk into the role that probably would have made him an all-timer. As it is, he’s five episodes’ worth of delight. Brooklyn Nine-Nine has a lot of great supporting actors, and it’s the only category where I endorse it fully.
Supporting Actress
Danielle Brooks, Orange is the New Black
Anna Chlumsky, Veep
Kate Mulgrew, Orange is the New Black
Laura Prepon, Orange is the New Black
Retta, Parks and Recreation
Laverne Cox, Orange is the New Black *
Orange is the New Black has an embarrassment of actresses, submitted amongst the supporting and guest categories (seemingly at random) to give them all better chances of getting nominated. But I have no shame in just overwhelming this category with them.
Directing
Bruce Eric Kaplan, Girls, “Flo”
Andrew Haigh, Looking, “Looking for the Future”
Louis C.K., Louie, “In the Woods” *
Jodie Foster, Orange is the New Black, “Lesbian Request Denied”
Jeffrey Blitz, Review, “Pancakes; Divorce; Pancakes”
Becky Martin, Veep, “Special Relationship”
You probably don’t think much about direction much when watching comedy; I know I have trouble keeping it in mind. I do my best, though. Also, seeing Jodie Foster’s name in Orange is the New Black was probably the biggest “woah, what” credits moment of last year for me.
Writing
Dan Mintz, Bob’s Burgers, “The Equestranauts”
Jessica Gao, Silicon Valley, “Signaling Risk”
Abbi Jaconbson & Ilana Glazer, Broad City, “The Last Supper”
Jenni Konner & Lena Dunham & Judd Apatow, Girls, “Beach House”
Louis C.K., Louie, “In the Woods” *
Jeffrey Blitz, Review, “Pancakes; Divorce; Pancakes”
AKA “the amazing My Little Pony episode,” “the one with the graffiti artist,” “the one where Ilana swells up like a balloon because allergies,” “the one where they dance to Harry Nilsson,” “the one where Louie is a kid and Jeremy Renner is scary,” and “the one where you realized what kind of show Review is, and it’s actually really dark.”
So those are my picks. What would your ideal ballot look like?
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