TV React: The Royals (2×07) “Taint Not Thy Mind, Nor Let Thy Soul Contrive Against Thy Mother”

THE SITUATION: The Truths Come Out

It’s a night of truth bombs for our favorite royal family.

Mother-Daughter Horse Riding

“The only thing more offensive than you throwing a bottle of vodka at my head is this paltry brand,” Helena says, after Eleanor does, in fact, throw a bottle of vodka at her head. The Queen has come to wake up the birthday girl so they can go see her cherished childhood horse, Charlie Jones. Helena argues that Charlie Jones meant independence for her daughter, while Eleanor argued that the independence her mother is referring to was just another way to justify abandoning her. “Hold on to all that fight in you, Eleanor. That’s what’s going to save you,” Helena advises, changing the way Eleanor sees her.

Helena apologizes for sleeping with Jasper and takes full responsibility for their hook up. She thought that Eleanor was going to throw her heart away on someone unworthy, so this was how Helena tried to get rid of him. Helena divulges the truth about her relationship with Alistair and their elopement that could have been. When she became her family’s only financial hope, she instead married Simon and became a different person. Eleanor says she made the right choice, that love is a loser’s game and it’s not in the cards for her. “People love me for what I am, not who I am,” she says. Helena says that she will always love Eleanor for who she is. The two share a tender hug, signaling their relationship is on the mend.

When they return to the palace they run into Jasper, which immediately sends Eleanor away. Helena tells him that she doesn’t know what he could have done that was worse than what he already did, but he needs to fix it because Eleanor truly cares for him. Helena gets a gold star for her behavior this episode.

Domino, Explained

Jasper and Liam attempt to find the mysterious blonde connected to Domino from the twins’ party. The blonde hands over the name Dominique Stewart, so Liam goes to his father’s former envoy to get more information. Meanwhile, Ted goes to see the man who accused him of killing King Simon (hereafter referred to as Domino Man). The man stays shockingly calm, considers Ted has him at gunpoint. He’s pretty confident Ted won’t kill him–after all, Ted doesn’t know who else knows about his Ted/Simon hunch.

These two situations weave together to dish out info: Dominique, nicknamed Domino, was the Domino Man’s sister and Simon’s true love. She was slated to marry him, as a member of a family line that dated back to Alfred the Great. She was a show jumper who died under mysterious circumstances, leaving Simon free to marry Helena as a way to boost morale and the economy. When her family tried to investigate, their prospects and honor were ruined.

Convinced that Helena is the reason his sister is dead, Domino Man plans to force her through a cycle of grief, fear, and shame. Liam goes back to the blonde (hereafter referred to as Blonde Dom since she’s named after her aunt), who tells him that her deceased aunt’s horse was drugged. Blonde Dom claims that their family had nothing to do with what happened to Simon or Robert. However, this meet up seems to have been arranged by her father to plant information with Liam.

While Jasper goes over surveillance tapes from the night that Simon was attacked, Liam goes to see Eleanor. She shows him a picture of young Helena and her horse, which Liam realizes is the other half of the photo of young Simon and Dominique. “I think mum killed someone,” he says.

Runaway Almost Bride-to-Be?

“Ditch the bitch,” the Duchess instructs, unimpressed with Cyrus’s commoner paramour. Getting rid of Violet will regain the support of the aristocracy, since she’s a joke to them. Cyrus argues that she’s actually very intelligent, alluding to her plan to get the support of the people back.

The Duchess informs Helena about the engagement ring Cyrus now carries for Violet. Thanks to Helena’s bill, if Violet and Cyrus are married by the time he passes away, Violet will be the only one eligible for the crown. Uh oh. “I’m not close to you because you’re my daughter. I’m close to you because you’re the queen,” the Duchess explains, just before heading in to meet with Violet for tea. Cyrus freaks out when he hears, warning Violet that the Duchess will be no friend to her. Violet assures him of her love.

Cyrus won’t start his broadcast until Violet shows up, which earns an eyeroll from Helena. When Violet never shows up, Cyrus carries on with the broadcast: “If I find out that anyone has done anything that goes against the will of my rule, then rest assured, things are going to get a lot worse.” Yikes.


  • Slapping Montage
    When Jasper imagines a dozen different ways to apologize to Eleanor, he gets just as many imagined slaps in return. Scarlett O’Hara would be proud.
  • “I Am So Not Shipping ‘Vyrus.’”
    Says the Duchess as she wakes up her daughter.


  • Raina and Cyrus At Each Other’s Throats
    A waste of screentime. If DPM Raina is bitching at anyone, let it be Helena.
  • King Cyrus May Become Dictator Cyrus
    This episode wasn’t the first time we’ve seen some totalitarian ideas and behaviors out of Cyrus, but the closer we get to Cyrus becoming a full dictator, the worse it gets

This week’s episode of The Royals finally gave us some of the answers we’ve been looking for about Domino and the secrets that lie in the parents’ past. The jumping between viewpoints was a good way to show who knew what, but it also made it feel like they were dragging it out a bit. Helena repairing the relationship between her and her daughter was well executed and a long time coming; I hope that the two of them don’t immediately backslide into old patterns next week.

Episode Rating: 7/10.

Bri is a 25-year-old born and raised in the swamps of Jersey. Just kidding, she lives at least twenty minutes from those swamps. She’s a publishing professional that moonlights as a writer. She enjoys going to concerts (anything from Rooney to Springsteen to NKOTBSB), roadtripping, and complaining that she truly belongs in the 1950’s, the 1920′s, or the 1980′s depending on her mood. She definitely owns more books than she should and reads every chance she gets. If you stop hearing from her, it’s because the book piles have fallen over and smothered her to death in the night. You can contact her at Twitter: @bri_lockhart