Warning: This post contains spoilers.
With the buzz of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child – Parts I & II and for reality TV junkies, the première of Bachelor in Paradise, it’s been a busy week for the entertainment world. I decided it’d be fun to bring these two very different worlds together. If you went to a midnight release party for the new Harry Potter book then you probably participated in one of the most popular themed activities which was finding out what Harry Potter house you were in. Thought it’d be fun, unconventional and entertaining to bring that sorting system to Bachelor Nation.
It’s time to get everyone together. Let the sorting begin!
People who are in this house are brave, adventurous and individualistic. They aren’t afraid to face a conflict or issue head on. People who are in this house fight for justice no matter what it takes. They have a Harry Potter persona that shines and may at times be overlooked. There’s a good vibe about these individuals that attracts others to them. These individuals tend to not shy away from group settings because they are comforted by the company of other people. They like to be the hero of the group and prove themselves to others.
Growing up everyone, including myself, wanted to be a Gryffindor solely because it was a) the most popular house at the time and b) because our favorite hero, Harry Potter was in it. Due to this popularity, among other notable traits, this makes Jared Haibon a Gryffindor. Jared received his letter to Hogwarts after Season 11 of The Bachelorette. He has good looks, is kind and has a noble heart that makes him a Gryffindor (at least in paradise standards).
Just coming from the recent season of The Bachelorette, Evan’s actions just shows he’s willing to be brave and stand up to “The Chad”. He wasn’t afraid to face Chad head on, though that may have cost him a red shirt. We like to underestimate Evan but he has more fire in him than we give him credit for. With his unique persona and overlooked bravery, he may find some lovin’ in paradise.
These notable people are hard-working, intelligent, patient and play by the rules. You may initially think that you won’t find these sort of people in paradise, but dig deep in the sands of Mexico (and I mean REAL deep) and they’re out there. People are who sorted into this house put family above all else. They enjoy other people’s companies and care deeply about others. The last thing these individuals want to be is alone. They enjoy company and their loved ones and may find the one, if they’re lucky, in paradise.
This single mom is smart and due to having young kids, you know this mama has to have some patience. Amanda’s good looks and Disney princess grace is sure to sweep anyone off their feet. She’s sweet and patient, and I hope this time around she gets her lucky chance at love.
Coming from Season 20 of The Bachelor, Jubilee is smart, beautiful and hard-working. Out of all the crazy people in this season, she is one of the top contenders who I hope finds love. She not only plays by the rules and honors girl code but she also doesn’t stoop down to all the petty drama, clearly making her a Hufflepuff.
These witty and smart individuals will keep you sane in paradise- trust me. Ravenclaws are very knowledgeable, which comes from their love of learning anything and everything. They don’t mix well with other people’s stupidity (which may be a struggle with all the drama on this island) and don’t take too kindly to Slytherins (we’re looking at you, Chad!) These intelligent individuals may find love in paradise if they play their cards right.
Though you Bachelorette fans may deem this bad boy a villain (who can blame ya) and immediately put him in with the rest of the Slytherins, I’ll have to tell you all to hold your wands. This bad boy isn’t as bad as we initially thought he was. Wanting to find true love, Nick is smart and staying away from all the drama. From the previews, it looks like he is going to propose so I guess his wit and charm work in his favor this time around.
The songstress is smart and will use her charm to her advantage. I love her commentary throughout the show. She instills hope that there are genuine people, like herself, there to find love. Out of the rest of these crazies, I really think she has a chance in paradise. She’s down-to-earth and looks like she’s easy to get along with. Hope this fellow Ravenclaw finds love this summer.
Sly is in their name and drama is their game. These individuals are filled with ambition and have a cunning personality. They associate themselves with the Dark Arts and knowing that drinks are heavily involved, you know that trouble will quickly brew in paradise. Careful Hogwarts attendees, there’s some trouble brewing with these guys.
If Chad was shipped to Hogwarts because of some weird and twisted fate, he would immediately befriend one of Harry’s enemies, Draco Malfoy. This guy is clearly up to no good and was the most talked about guy on the recent season of The Bachelorette. Draco and him would get along swimmingly. The protein powder, meat loving, real estate agent has drama written all over him.
Though she cries a lot, she can handle sharp comebacks quite well and dish them right back. She and Chad immediately pair up together on the first night in paradise and it was immediately a recipe for disaster. It was like watching two messy magnets pair up together, for all the wrong reasons. Though Lace claims to have turned a new leaf, you never know with this Slytherin.
Lastly, every villain needs his loyal sidekick and what better guy to be Chad’s sidekick than our favorite Canadian, Daniel. The guy is the king of weird metaphors and doesn’t shy away from awkward situations. His bromance with Chad may be the only opportunity for these two wannabe love birds.
You know it isn’t over until the fat lady sings or when Jorge, the bartender, stops pouring drinks in Mexico. You get the point. Even though these former Bachelor and Bachelorette contestants were sorted into their noted house, that doesn’t mean it’s over. There may be a few more people joining them in paradise. Be on the lookout for another installment of Bachelor in Paradise: Harry Potter Edition because paradise is going to get a little more crowded.