TV Review: The Royals (2×02) “Welcome is Fashion and Ceremony”

RoyalsS2TopTHE SITUATION: The Opening of Parliament, The Yacht Party

The opening of Parliament puts Helena and Cyrus at odds, while the yacht party brings the love triangle between Eleanor, Jasper, and Beck to light.

Cyrus’s Secret Revealed

Jasper has been tracking Cyrus for a few weeks now and directs Liam to his secret room full of medical equipment. Cyrus reveals that he has testicular cancer and was getting a treatment done the night that Simon was stabbed, thus explaining his lack of alibi for that night and pallor when he showed up in the lockdown. Cyrus demands that Liam not tell anyone past Eleanor; he doesn’t want the country’s pity. He’d rather have them believe that he killed Simon.

The Threat to Jaspenor

Beck might be sleeping in Eleanor’s room, but is choosing to couch surf in order to do the honorable thing. Beck informs Eleanor that since Monaco, she’s been on his mind, inspiring his recent departure from his wife.

tumblr_nya0spkYiD1utd2d0o2_500Later, Eleanor gets high at the yacht party, a development that leaves Beck less than thrilled. He’s disappointed because he knows who she’s capable of being. When Eleanor later explains why there’s red spraypaint all over her room, which gives him more of a sense of how deep her grief and guilt over Simon’s death runs. The two hook up.

Introducing Agent Hill

With Jasper otherwise occupied, Eleanor’s in need of new security detail. Enter Agent Hill, who spent twenty-seven years at Scotland Yard before being assigned to protect the princess. Eleanor is convinced that he’ll have a short tenure and demands that he keep her world quiet. He wins her over, both by calling her drug use “common” and admitting that he misses her father. Basically, he’s the best.

Before the yacht party, Jasper points out that Hill should go on the ship to protect Eleanor. Hill argues that he’s already vetted everyone on the ship–plus, if he goes, Jasper won’t have an excuse to talk to her. As he says: “Have you seen the face on the Beckwith kid? He almost turned me.” Jasper nods and boards the boat to check on Eleanor. I repeat: Hill is the best.

I’m On a Boat

Liam tells Eleanor about Cyrus’s secret. Eleanor has mixed feelings, but requests that Liam take some time off of his vengeance kick–after all, it’s not what their dad would have wanted for him. She argues that he might as well take a break, as it’s possible that they might never find out who killed Simon. She asks that he take a few days off of his search to retrace his steps and find something that once made him happy.

Liam apologizes to his friends (welcome back, Ashok!) for being checked out and asks Jasper for a favor. He’s going to disappear for a few days, and needs to do whatever he’s going to do alone. Jasper agrees faster than a royal bodyguard should. Liam then offers Jasper some advice in the face of Beck’s return: “Jasper, everyone lets [Eleanor] down–be the one to change that.” Our Mr. Liam seems to be Team Jasper on this one.

tumblr_nya356l2ft1utd2d0o2_500The Opening of Parliament

There’s a tradition in the monarchy of taking a member of Parliament hostage until after the King’s speech. Normally, Cyrus isn’t a fan of ceremony, but he’s going to make an exception for this one. He chooses Mr. Holloway, who is more than willing to go, as usually the hostage is treated to lovely food and drinks. However, since Cyrus is the one in charge, Holloway is thrown in a small cage and left to wait

Helena is still blackmailing the Prime Minister in order to push through the bill to change the order to succession. Her plan hits a small snag when she finds the Prime Minister dead–and has to rip her underwear off of him before they can inform the authorities of his untimely demise. When Cyrus reacts like the smug bastard he is, Helena insists that they don’t kill people. Unfortunately, her plans are derailed for the moment, especially considering the deputy Prime Minister has no interest in meeting with her.


  • Liam’s Terrible American Accent
    Liam makes fun of Jasper for saying that he’s from Las Vegas with a terrible American accent. Watching him claim that he’s Frank A. Gallagher, Chicago resident, pick-it-up truck driver, and Dodgers fan, provides a welcome lightness for Liam.
  • Simon’s Memorial
    Helena is creating a memorial for Simon–not because she wants the positive public opinion, but because she legitimately believes he was a good man who deserves to be remembered. Not that Eleanor believes her, but still.
  • Burgeoning Bromance, Ahoy!
    Jasper and Liam are campaigning for brotp of the year, over there.


  • Cyrus Tempts Fate
    Cyrus wearing the Koh-I-Noor diamond to the opening of Parliament provided an unnecessary plot detail for this episode. There’s supposedly a curse on it for anyone who wears it who isn’t God or a woman. Cyrus is smug about nothing bad happening to him, until his doctor calls with bad news. Basically, this felt pointless and I don’t want any extra Cyrus content on this show.
  • Lucius’s Loyalty Lies with the Monarchy
    Lucius is working on Cyrus’s, not Helena’s, side at the moment–I don’t love that his loyalty changes based on who’s in charge, especially if that means he’s going against the Queen.

Looks like The Royals is heating up in its second season! The love triangle is firming up between Jasper, Eleanor, and Beck, while things are getting more ridiculous and deadly at Parliament. We were introduced to a new (fabulous) character with the promise of the return of some last season favorites. Unfortunately, we also saw a few wins for Cyrus, while Helena fell behind in the race for the monarchy. Next week: OPHELIA RETURNS! Will we find Marcus as well?

Episode Rating: 7/10.

Bri is a 25-year-old born and raised in the swamps of Jersey. Just kidding, she lives at least twenty minutes from those swamps. She’s a publishing professional that moonlights as a writer. She enjoys going to concerts (anything from Rooney to Springsteen to NKOTBSB), roadtripping, and complaining that she truly belongs in the 1950’s, the 1920′s, or the 1980′s depending on her mood. She definitely owns more books than she should and reads every chance she gets. If you stop hearing from her, it’s because the book piles have fallen over and smothered her to death in the night. You can contact her at Twitter: @bri_lockhart