TV Review: Scream (2×06) “Jeepers Creepers”

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“When Everyone’s a Suspect, There is No Innocence.” 

Killer call! The killer calls Emma to gloat after their brief appearance at the school’s lockdown. “Poor, sad Emma. You can’t trust anyone–even yourself,” they say, alluding to her recent mental health struggles. Kieran arrives, bearing an apology for ratting Emma out to Acosta about Jake’s phone. Emma quickly accepts the apology and moves on to that phone call. Now that she knows the killer is leveraging doubts over her mental health escape unnoticed, she’s desperate to figure out who she can trust.

It Could Be…Audrey

Emma bursts into Noah’s room, demanding to see his murder board after her run-in with Piper’s accomplice. She’s quite pissed to find that Audrey is his number one suspect. Noah explains his reasoning, pointedly leaving out the fact that he stole her phone, but Emma isn’t buying it. They’re both referring to the Killer as a “he,” so they still haven’t learned their lesson about gender typing. Emma demands that he take the photo down until he has concrete proof.

Noah brings the transcript of his interview with Eddie to Emma, insisting that they can prove Audrey’s innocence by seeing if Eddie recognizes a picture of her. The killer responds to his text with, “Wow/We should talk/Meet me at the fairgrounds tonight/In the funhouse.” They proceed to drop Eddie’s phone onto his dead, bloody body for effect, I guess? Wouldn’t that room stink to high heaven? It’s been a few days, I can’t imagine it’s gone unnoticed. Also: NEVER EVER meet anyone at the fairgrounds! This is like Horror 101. To date myself, has that episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark featuring Zeebo the Clown taught us nothing?

Brooke’s on a Mission

“Carnations are depressing AF,” a dejected Brooke says, staring at her sympathy flowers. She has mutilated her bed with scissors, which she asks Emma not to tell her dad about in order to avoid another shrink visit. She muses about how Jake didn’t deserve what Branson did and that it was her fault for not listening to Jake’s warning about her former teacher/lover. Emma tries to caution her against blaming herself, but it falls on deaf ears.

Brooke meets Stavo at the coffeehouse to ask his help getting Branson’s folder from the sheriff’s department. Her wish is his command. Their newly stolen information shows that Branson’s alibi was provided by his supposed girlfriend and resident psych teacher Kristen Lang. Brooke believes this is just a cover and decides to take matters into her own hands. “Promise me you’ll take no prisoners and kick ass as needed,” Stavo says, making me like him just a bit, though it might not be the best advice with a murderer on the loose.

Stavo drops his iPad with Audrey, saying that she owes him her eyes on his project. “I’m trying to tell the story of Murderville and the truth is, it gets bloody in parts,” he explains. I’m with you bro, but might be a little soon. He knows that Audrey still suspects him, but he wants her to know the feeling is mutual. As this is happening, Brooke puts in a tearful phone call to Ms. Lang, confessing that she was with Branson the night Jake was murdered. Ms. Lang immediately calls Branson and leaves an angry voicemail, but he’s too busy making plans with Brooke on the other line.

A Brief Interlude from Mayor Maddox

Tina Hudson (Kieran’s aunt and Eli’s mother) sees Mayor Maddox in a bar and wants him to buy her a drink. They go back to his place, where she leans in for a kiss. He stops her, explaining that he brought her there for another reason. He has an opening for a job now, presumably whatever mysterious task Jake was doing for him.

We Might Have Us Another Merry Murderess for “The Cell Block Tango”

While Brooke and Branson are hooking up, she handcuffs him to the bed, ties his legs, and blindfolds him. He thinks it’s all in good fun until she rips off the blindfold and threatens him with scissors. After she cuts him, he admits that he was at his apartment waiting for Jake that night. Jake was paying him to leave Lakewood and get out of Brooke’s life with money from her father. Brooke threatens to castrate Branson if he doesn’t admit to killing Jake. He passes the test, so Brooke gags him and leaves him tied to the bed, man parts intact.

Do You Want to Say “I’ll Be Right Back” Before You Leave Too?

Emma is late to meet Noah, failed by a flat tire. Noah doesn’t get her messages, so he heads into the closed fairgrounds alone. Like an idiot. Noah, you’re better than this. He realizes this and sprints back to his car, chastising himself, only to be chloroformed once he gets inside.

Noah wakes up tied to a carnival ride. Audrey is tied to the car behind him, At least he’s not alone? “Multiple kidnapping is a common storyline in the torture porn subgenre. Usually only one captive survives and sometimes…sometimes nobody survives,” Noah says, freaking out. “Horror movie logic says we’re about to die. Real world logic does too. The only thing left is to tell the truth,” Noah adds, going on to explain that he stole her phone and spied on her. Audrey didn’t know what to do, but Noah is hurt all the same.

Noah continues to drop some truth bombs on Audrey, divulging that he has feelings for her. Audrey loves him, but not like that. Audrey is about to make a confession of her own when they hear Emma outside. When she hears that they’re supposed to meet Eddie, she jumps up sans rope and admits that she kidnapped both of them to convince Noah that she was innocent. Question: where did Audrey get chloroform? Now that the killer might be in there with them, they have to get out. Audrey, Noah, Emma, and surprise Kieran escape the fairgrounds unscathed.

The Denouement

A deputy informs Acosta that they figured out the IP address responsible for the emails Pa Duvall received from “Riley”–it’s Emma Duvall’s. Kieran interrupts this situation to talk about what is going on with Emma. Something tells me that those two crazy kids aren’t going to make it work this season.

Audrey visits Noah to finish her confession. Her secret: she brought Piper to Lakewood to help research a documentary on Brandon James. Audrey believed Piper when she claimed her innocence, so she feels responsible for her murder spree. “You’re not a monster, Audrey. You’re a victim,” Noah affirms, hugging her. I’m with him here, but I think her consistent obstruction of justice is a huge problem. She asks him to promise that he won’t tell Emma–it has to come from her. Unfortunately, the podcast equipment is still on–tune in next week to see if it goes public!

Our last shot shows the killer paying a visit to Branson, who’s still tied to that bed. They saw off his hand and cauterize the wound using the hotel’s iron. Cheers!

Thank you, episode 2×06 for finally showing us why Audrey has been acting so shady. Unfortunately, the things she’s been doing to stop people from discovering her secrets are worse than her actual secret, but whatever. The emotional complications between her and Noah adds a nice layer to the story. I love that Brooke is becoming a more active player in the show, though she should probably chill on the whole torture thing. On the whole, the low body count of this season is surprising–either the Scream writers are getting concerned about losing too many characters to sustain the show, or a massive bloodbath is coming our way.

Best Line: “I told Riley my favorite movie was Terminator, it’s not, it’s Psycho, but that’s not what you tell a girl on a first date…Terminator’s not even in my top five.”–Noah, trying to cleanse his soul before he thinks he’s going to die

Killer Calls: 1

Body Count Per Episode: 0

Body Count Per Season: 2

Episode Rating: 7/10

Bri is a 25-year-old born and raised in the swamps of Jersey. Just kidding, she lives at least twenty minutes from those swamps. She’s a publishing professional that moonlights as a writer. She enjoys going to concerts (anything from Rooney to Springsteen to NKOTBSB), roadtripping, and complaining that she truly belongs in the 1950’s, the 1920′s, or the 1980′s depending on her mood. She definitely owns more books than she should and reads every chance she gets. If you stop hearing from her, it’s because the book piles have fallen over and smothered her to death in the night. You can contact her at Twitter: @bri_lockhart