Kev’s Movie Review: Love the Coopers

It’s Nov. 16th and we have just stepped foot into this year’s holiday season with this year’s first holiday themed film Love the Coopers. A few things, it’s not Thanksgiving; also I don’t comprehend the feeling that is Love in this film.

Before this proceeds with light and darkness, here’s the biggest criticism that should be had… IT’S TOO EARY FOR CHRISTMAS.

This movie is about the Coopers and what happens as it leads to the Christmas dinner that ends all Christmas dinners. It’s about keeping lies, resentments, and other not so Christmas-like things and why hiding them only makes us love each other more?

The film is devoid of the true meaning of Christmas; it’s all the bullshit the characters are handed that we don’t get Joy, Jolly, or Holly, just people hating each other only to have one minor stroke on Christmas Eve cause everything to turn around and bloom love in the air… that’s the rest of the movie in a nutshell.

Olivia Wildes seems like she doesn’t want to be there. After admitting she did Drinking Buddies while drunk, all I could think was, “is she drunk?” Her eyes were red, and when I think of red eyes I think of liquor, almost like it was another paycheck.

Everybody else, Diane Keaton, John Goodman, Alan Arkin, Amanda Seyfriend, Ed Helms, Marissa Tomei, and Anthony Mackie feel like they are in it because of what it is; a Christmas movie. When in reality they sleepwalk through a film that is a part of the real “war on Christmas.”

Though Jake Lacy’s Character is the true patriarch of this film as he expresses a lot of forgiveness, love, and compassion. So much so, he acts like this film depended on it.

The film is overtly narrated over the course of the film, telling us what these people are thinking in the midst or post of a elongated conversation between the people. Something along the lines of, “But little did he know,” or “But what they wanted wasn’t,” which is too generic and outdated. I felt my stomach growl with hunger because the film never let framing device be a focal point and just played you for a stupid twist.

Here’s the twist: a dog narrates it. This dog never leaves the damn house. He’s voiced by Steve Martin. 

The writing is very lazy and every character is a stereotype of itself. Anthony Mackie plays a homosexual police officer who tries to open up about Love and not being alone. Throughout his time in the film it gives you one vague ride full therapeutic nothingness before he lets Emma (Tomei), Diane Keaton’s character’s sister, go for the holidays.

Emma is the most oblivious character. For one thing, she’s a petty criminal who’s full of resentment and ironically a life coach. And two she’s pissy and moody cause Keaton got it all and she’s all alone, so her family fades into the abyss before she realizes she’s not alone. Her nephews and nieces and so forth come back and she’s happy again.

The directing follows standard compositions, typical tracking shots, and awkward zooms. In the dinner scene there a moments where you notice a quick zoom that added nothing to the situation and was just too awkward.

It contains too many things that aren’t Christmas like, which can be a pain for all Christmas lovers, like myself. I’d rather sit with Shia LeBouf for those three days at the Angelika watching all of his films.

The lesson here is that no matter what you think will happen, you will all eventually begin to resent each after a while…

So remember kids, when you grab a red cup from Starbucks don’t think of it as the “war on Christmas,” think of it as another example of social witlessness that truly believe this is the war. This film is a part of a silent war, which people should start, to end ridiculous, dumb, bad, or illogical Christmas movies from being made.

A man can only dream.


Kevin Montes is one sarcastically satirical dude. He’s usually at home watching hours of comedy and television, primarily Simpsons. Kevin aspires to be a TV writer, a joke writer, and composer for all things Harmony Korine. You can reach him on twitter @iamkevinmontes to further ask about all things Simpsons.